5, 6, 7, 8.

The countdown is on, people.

The first annual Movement Mission performance is just weeks away. EEEK. February 7 and 8 we take the stage for three performances only. Have you bought your tickets yet?? (DO IT.)

The funny thing about shows is that you always think you have SO MUCH TIME. I mean, we started rehearsals last summer. That was an eternity ago. But all of a sudden, it’s crunch time. Costumes to buy. Choreography to finish. And tired (tired!) bodies.

This week I couldn’t stop smiling through rehearsal. All this women are so beautiful. Sometimes I want to pinch myself. That such an eclectic group of strangers could come together to produce so much beauty is beyond me.

As the shows get closer, the weight of not only being a dancer, but being a first time choreographer is setting in. Choreographing is terrifying for a few simple reasons.

What if no one understands the story?

What if I haven’t been a very good teacher?

What if we just look…well, stupid? (I mean, it could happen.)

No different from other forms of art, it’s horrifying to lay a piece of yourself out for the public to chew up and spit out. But at some point you have to let it go. Just like the quote says, there comes a point when the pain of staying closed up and held tight is worse than the pain of letting go and blooming (extremely rough paraphrase by moi.)

Regardless, I’m so happy and proud to be telling this story I’ve been carrying around for a few years. It’s like a part of me has come to live in the world. I can’t wait. I better see you there (yes, you.)

And while I can’t give you an actual sneak peek, I thought I’d give you a little taste of what’s to come. Here’s our song! I’m a sucker for acoustic music and I love me a chick rocker.

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2013: The Year of Alive.

It’s here already. Holy moly. Is it me, or did 2012 go faster than any year on record?

Anyway, it’s here. December 31, 2012. Out with the old, in with the new right? We’re winding down the holidays, closing out the books, reflecting and setting new goals for a new year. Just like every other year.

Just like every other year.

I have a confession. I’ve been in a rut. Like, a massive crater of a hole. And the reality is I dug it myself. I’ve been comfortable (which is by no means a bad thing.) I have good friends, a good job, good parents, a good house…you get the picture.

It’s all good.

But I’m not ready to settle for good. That’s what I’ve been doing. I’ve been o.k. with life just being comfortable. I mean, I worked a lot of years to get to comfortable! I survived high school, I freaked out through college, and somehow managed to crawl through the past few years transitioning into adulthood (which, PS, no one tells you is going to be the HARDEST TIME OF YOUR LIFE. Praise God for our friends.) Let’s not lie, it’s still hard. But, as I’m about to turn 28 later this week, I have had a realization.

I’m not dead.

(Alright, I can see this is where you start thinking that I’m being a drama queen. “No Heather, your life is not over just because you’re in your late twenties.” I know, I know. But you should try spending majority of your time with college students…trust me, I feel old. There are slang words and dance moves I don’t know!)

Annnnnyway. I’ve been treating life like I climbed to the top of some grandiose mountain top and here I shall now stay and find a way to be content. Because clearly this is all there is.

Um, excuse me. No. (Sometimes you have to get a little sassy to life.)

For years I’ve been hanging onto one of my favorite bible verses: “Be still, and know that I am God;…” Psalm 46:10. And yes, it’s still one of my favorite verses. Contentment in God is one of the core truths of life. However, not too long ago we were talking with our life group and I remembered one of the greatest pieces of advice I have ever heard in my life.

Pray and move. 

For the love of it all, be still for a time, but then do something! Talk to God about it. Pray, pray, pray all day, everyday. But do something as you’re praying. Faith in God means faith in the reality that He will divert any plan that isn’t His. He’s not going to let you do something harmful to your life as long as you’re in Him. Pray and move.

Ok, so this was a really long, drawn out way for me to get to my point. My point is, I’ve been trying to change my prayer. Away from my usual: “Why is this happening?…what do you want from me?…what am I supposed to do now?”

Do you see the main problem there? Yep. That’s right. Me.

So now here’s the new goal: “What do YOU want my heart’s desire to be?…what do YOU want from me?…what do YOU need me to be doing?”

Ahhhh. Better. I’m by no means claiming to be the queen of praying and seeking (on the contrary, I’m actually really bad at it) but I’m trying.

So this is probably about the time you’re wondering about the title of this post, am I right? What does Alive have to do with anything? Well, remember what I said? I’m not dead. Yippee!

Alive is what this year is about. In all sense of the word. Celebrating being alive (this week is dedicated to that…Birthday Girl!), finding passions that make me come alive, rejoicing in the fact that I (and YOU) are alive, and FEELING: joy, pain, hurt, love, anxiety, all of it. Being real and being alive. Experiencing new things. Not just sitting and being content. And of course, all with some sass and sarcasm (come on, this is me we’re talking about.)

This has been one of my favorite quotes in recent years…

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” 
–Howard Thurman

So here we go. Alive in 2013. Who’s with me? Will you explore being alive? Will you try something new with me? Will you choose your own word and share it with me?

I decided to be part of a blog project this year, One Word 365 (see the logo over there —> Look, and come back to finish reading!) It’s a community of people who each choose one word to live their years by and share their experiences. I started following it last year and decided to jump on board this year.

I believe in this year. And my goodness do I hope it goes a little slower than last year!

Here we go, loves. Here we go.