She Gets It From Her Momma.

In honor of Mother’s Day this weekend (this is me reminding you that it is THIS weekend) I thought I’d share a few of my favorite words of wisdom from my mom which have helped me survive into adulthood. The past 28 years have been fraught with countless lessons from her, but these just happen to be the ones I find myself repeating to myself the most. My most important Mom Massey-isms if you will!

A watched pot never boils. Figuratively speaking, this is obviously a lie (unless you forget to turn the burner on, because let’s all admit we’ve done that…) I distinctly remember her saying this to me one time when I was little and impatiently staring out the kitchen window, waiting for one of my friends to be dropped off to play. Stop being so anxious; if you occupy yourself, you won’t even realize time is passing and whatever it is you’re waiting for will be here before you know it. But good Lord, time moves SO SLOW when you are just sitting there watching it tick by. Though this is a mantra I repeat to myself often, I can’t say it’s actually helped my patience…mom still wins that award by a landslide.

When you’re crying, wipe your eyes with the tissue before you blow your nose. This one doesn’t need any philosophical explanation. It’s simple. Just use common sense. Nobody wants to smear snot all over their face. Wipe your eyes first. But also, don’t be afraid to cry, like ugly, girl cry. Let it out. And mom’s lap is still the best place to curl up while doing so.

Always have pasta in your kitchen. I think her original idea behind this was a survival method…pasta is nonperishable, can be eaten plain if necessary and could be boiled in a fireplace or kerosene heater if we lost power. Side note: we had both a fireplace and kerosene heater when I was growing up. Now I have neither, so this isn’t really a survival option unless I want to gnaw on raw pasta…so there’s that…But I can’t express to you how many times this has saved me from starvation. Sometimes I get home really late. Sometimes I’m just too lazy to want to cook. And when that sets in, pasta and spaghetti sauce are my go-to. It fills me up and I can make enough to have leftovers (because you know there’s a good chance we’re going to have deja vu tomorrow.) And I can throw in whatever leftovers I might have in my fridge (mushrooms, hamburger, chicken, veggies, etc.) Instant meal!

That mom…she sure does know her stuff

What about you? What are you favorite momma moments?

365 Days of Blue Cottage.

Nothing jolts you into adulthood faster than signing your name on a loan worth more than all of your other possessions…combined.  Yet, here I am, one year in to ownership of this little gem:

The teeny-tiny little Blue Cottage, perfectly sized for myself and the two fur balls. It’s been incredible to actually call somewhere “home.” To have a space that I can host friends. To have some sense of permanence and establishment (two things I’ve been craving since college.)

One of my favorite benefits is being able to work on projects around the house anytime I want. You’d be surprised how much trouble a little lady armed with a power drill can get into. This year I tackled some pretty big interior projects, including:

Painting the main room and drapes that my momma made.

THE KITCHEN. Holy cow. In one week. Never again.

And my bedroom. This was a much easier job. Just a little paint and more drapes from mom!

And of course I have more ideas I want to do, including finally finishing (or starting…) the office/spare bedroom and updating the bathroom. New year, new projects!

Like any new phase of life, there are a million lessons to learn. I thought I’d take a little look back at some of the big ones from the past 365 days…

There is always something to work on. Everybody told me this. And though I didn’t doubt it, I didn’t actually grasp the concept. But there really is always something else to work on. Always. My list never ends. Money, however, does.

The beauty is in the imperfections. My house is roughly 60 years old and it still has all the original woodwork and TONS of closets with original wood doors. While they’re showing their age; scratches, dents and discoloration, I can’t bring myself to paint them or replace them. There’s part of me that feels like I would be betraying the house and its history by changing something so unique to its character.

Patience. I have none. Moving on…

It is actually possible to have zero trees in your yard and yet have more leaves to rake than your neighbors. The science behind this still boggles my mind.

There is no greater feeling than welcoming friends into your home. Making dinner. Having coffee. Sitting outside on late, summer evenings. When I bought I house, I wanted a space that I could share with other people. And that’s just what I got.

Here’s to the next year…happy housing, friends!

That Time James Gave it to Me Straight.

Have you ever had one of those moments when you take a good, long look at yourself and you’re like…

“Oh man…that’s ugly.”

Now let’s be clear that I’m talking about your internal self; because you, my sweet friend, are gorgeous no matter what. 

I had one of these epiphanies the other day after a conversation with a friend that left me feeling a little convicted. There’s a disconnect sometimes between what we I believe and what  we I portray our my beliefs to be to others. It’s so easy to get swept up in other people’s opinions, the gossip, the negativity and all those other things you think will get you accepted. 

Big life transitions (for me, my recent job change) have a tendency to make you analyze yourself. It’s a chance to start over and re-vamp problem areas. After the aforementioned conversation, I went to my home base, the Bible, to do something I honestly haven’t done much of lately. Read it. 

And of course, per usual, it kicked me in the stomach. In a good way. Right there, in the pages of James, were the words I needed to read. The ugliness I have let grow in myself for far too long. That’s the interesting thing about toxic behavior…you don’t realize how big it’s getting until it’s grown out of control.

Take a read with me (this is long and kind of random, I apologize. But it just kept jumping out!)

James 1:21-26
“Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do. Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.”

James 2:12-26
“Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment. What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.” Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds. You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder. You foolish person, do you want evidence that faith without deeds is useless ? Was not our father Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. And the scripture was fulfilled that says, “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness,” and he was called God’s friend. You see that a person is considered righteous by what they do and not by faith alone. In the same way, was not even Rahab the prostitute considered righteous for what she did when she gave lodging to the spies and sent them off in a different direction? As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.”

James 3:3-12
“When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.”

James 3:17
“But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.”

My tongue is ugly. How about yours? And my actions? They sometimes stink too. 

Words AND deeds. Both are part of our faith and beliefs. You can’t be fully committed without both, as in any relationship in your life. And on the same note, both affect each other. They can build each other up or they can tear the other one down. Hypocrisy is not a fun place to be, but it’s often where I find myself when both my tongue and my actions aren’t aligned.

But I think this is all part of The Year of Alive, right? We grow by moving forward in places where there is work to be done.

And as I tell my student tour guides…”Think about what is going to come out of your mouth before it comes out of your mouth.” Is it really what you want people to hear? Would someone who has never met you before understand your message? Do your actions match what you’re saying?

Suppose I better listen to my own advice, ya think?

I’m linking up with my One Word 365 friends over on Only A Breath! Be sure to check out the monthly updates.

Happy Friday…love you friends!

A Wednesday Post of Randoms.

Happy Hump Day, friends!

I hope your week is going well. I’m enjoying my last day off before I start my new job tomorrow. The excited/nervous feelings have set in full swing. I’m packing my bag and picking out my clothes…it’s really kind of like the first day of school all over again…

Anyway, here in Ohio we are enjoying one of our favorite things…a lovely snow storm in March So I have given myself an unofficial snow day to do with it whatever the heck I want. And I decided to give you all a random update of the past few days (because mini staycations are the bomb.)

Sunday I wore this fun little get up to brunch (where there were Broadway music videos! I would just like it to be known that this is the best idea ever. Way to go, Level Dining Lounge.)

I’m in a navy blue phase at the moment

I made this for chocolate pomegranate tart for dessert on Monday…omggggg.

Photo from PastryAffair.com

And I made this black bean soup and cilantro lime rice for dinner last night…so good.

Photo from iowagirleats.com

And I finally worked on a little project and took my Christmas wreath off my front door (I mean, it’s only March, give me a break…) Craft day!

And I’m currently plowing through a miniseries on the Kennedys on Netflix. Snow days really are the best.

How are you today, sweet friend?

A Stitch(Fix) In Time.

Last week was a happy week for many reasons but one in particular made it extra fun…my Stitch Fix arrived!

A few weeks ago I mentioned Stitch Fix in my list of favorite things in 2o13. You may have heard of Birchbox, PopSugar MustHave, or Umba Box…all are subscription based services that send you a monthly shipment of hand selected products. What makes Stitch Fix unique is that for a $20 fee, you get a box of personally selected clothes and accessories (usually five per shipment) and you then have three days to return any unwanted items. You aren’t charged additional money for anything you return. There’s no obligation and no required subscription, you can schedule a box to be delivered as little or as often as you like. I personally LOVE surprises, so I wanted to give it a try at least once to see what I got!

When you register online, the first thing you do is fill out a personal style profile (this is the fun part!) You can also link the stylists to your Twitter, Pinterest and Facebook profiles so they can see your personal style.

Want to join me in the fun? Get your own fix here!

Once you schedule your shipment…then you wait. Pretty soon, you’ll come home to this!

Here’s the breakdown of how the process works…

I really liked everything I received! Unfortunately, my budget prevented me from keeping everything. But it was fun to play dress up for a little while (and I did decide to keep one top.)

And without further ado…here are the five pieces I was sent! Attached to each piece, you get a note card about the garment and examples of how to wear it.

And this is the piece I kept…

So much fun in one box! I think it’s a great way to try out new styles (especially at the season changes) and to see what a fashion expert would dress you in.

Have you gotten your Fix? What did you think? I’d love to hear about it!

Read about some other Fixes…

Nourishing and Flourishing – I got my fix! (one of my best friends, Kimmy!)
Life on the Quarter – I’m Not Stylish
Little Chief Honeybee - Stitch Fix Haul – Fixes #22 + #23
The Ride – Stitch Fix #1
Caroline Tesselle – A Stitch Fix for Me

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes.

Life announcement: I’m taking a new job!

It’s been quite a journey and though I am excited, I still have a lot of mixed feelings. I’ve been crying for days (daysssss) as I struggle with leaving a place filled with people I have come to love so much. But, the switch is necessary. As I’ve been wrapping up my final weeks, I’ve started to recognize a few things about myself  and how I deal with that ugly word. Change. 

I don’t like saying goodbye. And I think that’s ok. My final week is next week; which also happens to be spring break. Because of that, I’m seeing a lot of students for the final time. They are adamant about stopping in the office to see me before they leave campus (because they are the sweetest things on the planet) and as I give out hug after hug, I can’t bring myself to say goodbye. It just feels weird. I keep saying, “see you later” just like I would at the end of every other day. Maybe I’m delusional and think I’m going to see them all walk through my new office door. And I’m sure it will hit me when I have to start over with new faces and have a million new names to learn. But I think it’s important to not let go of special relationships and I have no intention of disappearing just because I’m in a new environment. Just like many times before, good friends are only a phone call or an email away – saying goodbye just feels too permanent and that isn’t necessary.

Don’t wait until the end to say thank you. When I sent out the announcement that I would be leaving, I was inundated with well-wishes and thank yous. I also found myself overwhelmed with how many individuals I want to be sure know how grateful I am for them; so many people have made an impact on me these past 4.5 years. And I’m reminded of something we all forget in our busy lives. Don’t forget to tell people what they mean to you. Write notes. Leave messages. Tell them. I wish I had continuously told these people over the past few years instead of bottling it all up at the end. You never know what your words will mean to someone else.

I’m allowed to be happy for myself. I have this complex where I am always worried about taking care of everyone else and always put myself last. So, you can only imagine that in my whirlwind of change I of course was concerned about all the nitty-gritty details and what everyone else around me was feeling. Because that’s healthy. It took me a few days until I was finally able to pour myself a glass of wine, do a little happy dance and really be excited. But that’s important. Let yourself enjoy an accomplishment and look forward to what is up ahead. It’s not a bad thing to revel in your own happiness for a little bit. 

Let’s hear from you! How do you handle change? Do you love it or run from it? What lessons have you learned?

A Pulse Check on Being Alive.

About two months ago I chose my word for 2013…

And now that we’re at the almost-two-month mark, I thought it was about time for a heart check. The lovely Melanie hosts a monthly link up for the One Word 365 community, so be sure to check it out!

So, Alive. The dictionary defines it like this…

http://www.merriam-webster.com

I think 2b is my favorite: “Still active in competition with a chance for victory.” Now there is some life motivation…VICTORY! There’s some Friday motivation, people!

Also, key words like “alertness” and “energy.” These are things that are sometimes hard to keep up in the winter months!

January was a pretty active month. There was lots of birthday celebrating with friends, new activities, ate at some great new restaurants, got back into yoga. 2013 got off to a great start! As we moved into February though, my focus shifted away from myself as life got busy. Free time became recovery time from the hectic week and the alive meter started to dip quite a bit.

But as we head towards March, I’ve got some big changes on the horizon (more on that to come.) And though they scare the crap out of me right now, I’m excited for some new challenges and I know that change is necessary.

I’m also looking forward to a few other goals as I progress through my year of being Alive.

• Getting involved as a volunteer for a local organization or cause
• Finally setting up an office in my spare bedroom and getting that space organized
• Church shopping (I hate that term…almost as much as I hate feet and the word “birthing” but, hey, it fits what I’m doing)

So that’s my pulse check. How’s your year going? Be sure to link it up!

Things I’m Lovin’ in 2013.

Now that we’re into the new year, I thought I’d take a moment to share some of my favorite things that are making my January days a little brighter…

My french press
Here I am, admitting it publicly I, Heather Lynn Massey, have become a coffee drinker. And this pretty little thing is one of my new best friends. It allows me to make just one mug of coffee to take with me to work, it’s green (ooooh, trendy) and it’s easy to clean up when I’m done. Economical and enjoyable!

My new kitchen timer
Small things bring me great joy. This was my little birthday gift to myself, from my beloved Anthropologie. I’ve been eyeballing this thing for awhile. The blue happens to match my walls almost perfectly and goes with my retro-ish kitchen. And it’s magnetic (cool, huh?!) Unfortunately, it has a ring so loud it sends both cats flying across the house every time it goes off…but hey, style takes sacrifices, right?

Stitch Fix
What girl hasn’t dreamed of having a personal shopper? Now take it to the next level…what if that shopper delivered to your house?! Enter Stitch Fix! I just got my approval a couple of weeks ago (you are on a waitlist when you sign up) and I’ve requested my first shipment for February. With a short questionnaire about your personal style, they put together a shipment of clothing and accessories. You pay for what you want to keep and send back what you don’t. I don’t imagine it’s something I’ll splurge on regularly, but I’m excited to give it a try. There will definitely be a post to follow my shipment next month!

Paper Thin Leaf Antenna by Mohu
Game changer, right here my friends. Network tv, no cable and no ugly antenna arms all over my living room! It literally looks like a file folder. It’s thin enough to hang on the back of my television and gets great reception. Giant THANK YOU to my lovely friend Tess who introduced me to this. I ordered mine on Amazon at a very reasonable price.

And speaking of no cable television…

Netflix
I know this isn’t really a new thing, but golly gee it makes my life happy. Lately I’ve been reliving my high school days with Alias, catching up on Downton Abbey (because I’m apparently the only person on the planet who isn’t up to speed!) and watching endless documentaries. I love documentaries. I’m a nerd, and proud of it.

Kid President
You know you watched his Pep Talk, it went viral earlier this week. I honestly can’t get enough of this little guy. He’s hilarious. And believes in dancing, which, we all know I support. And he has challenged us to make this year awesome for somebody else. He even includes a pretty fabulous list of ways to do so (I for one will be taking advantage of the “mail somebody a corn dog” option.) Watch away…I dare you not to laugh. DARE. YOU.

What are you lovin’ right now? Anything new, fun or life-changing?

Those Winter Blues.

Let’s all be real here for a hot second. It’s winter. In Ohio, that means it’s cold, it’s dark by 5 p.m. (which if you aren’t aware, is the time we all get out of work and actually see the outside) and the motivation gauge is usually on empty. It’s the winter blues. A funk. Depression. And though I am not a psychological or medical professional (and if you are having extensive difficulties, you should definitely see one of them) I thought I would share a few of the ways that I try to keep myself moving during these winter months. I’d love to hear any techniques or activities you have! I’m always interested in new ways to find inspiration and motivation.

1) Get some people time. I will openly tell you I am one of the most introverted people you will meet. I love me time. I NEED me time. But I also know that when I let that get off balance, it gets ugly fast. I know that if I’ve gone too long without real social activity, I’m in trouble. Don’t let that happen! Right now…call, text, Facebook message, tweet a friend. Set up a little hang out date. This is one of my first go-to ways to pull myself out of a funk: I fill my social calendar. I think you’ll realize that when you spend time with others, you want to spend more time with others, and that makes even my little, internal self jump for joy. It also keeps you from sinking into yourself. And just as it helps you, your presence is beneficial for the other person; because you’re pretty stinking awesome.

2) Get outside! Vitamin D my friends. Even if it’s cold (let’s be real…it’s cold.) Take a walk at lunch. Sit on your porch for a few minutes. Take a moment, breathe and get some fresh air. It’s an instant mood changer.

3) Dance it out. I mean it. You’d be shocked by what 15 minutes of shaking your groove thing can do. Don’t worry, no one is watching. Just have fun and laugh at yourself. Find yourself a good Pandora dance station (I have a Beyonce “Single Ladies” station) and go for it. My favorite is to dance while I’m cleaning my house…and sitting in my car…and sitting at my desk…and waiting in line at the store…ok maybe this one is my favorite tip

4) Be task oriented. I love to-do lists. In fact, I need them to function. I mean, I make to-do lists when I’m on vacation to make sure I don’t miss anything. And when I’m having a bad day, or I’m lacking motivation, usually having at least one task to work towards keeps me moving. So I’ve been trying to break up my lists into small, daily projects. I don’t have to do everything at one time, that’s overwhelming and then I give up. It’s just small steps. Today, pay bills. Tomorrow, emails. Another day, run errands. Little things can result in a lot of forward motion.

5) Write a love letter. Over Christmas break I stumbled upon this amazing project, www.moreloveletters.com. It was started by a young woman when she was struggling with depression. It’s an act of anonymous encouragement; literally writing love letters and leaving them for whomever should stumble upon them. How fun?! You can learn more about the organization and how to be a part of the letter writing if you go to the website. I just got my first request for letters (they send a monthly list of people who have requested letters for someone they know) and I can’t wait to get started! You can’t imagine how encouraging another person can really benefit you as well.

What about you? What do you do to keep yourself going?

Saturday Fun: Winter Hike.

One of my goals with being Alive in 2013 is to do more new things. Eat at new restaurants, see more sites…basically do a lot more of the stuff I always talk about wanting to do (less talking and more action.) And Saturday was one of those!

I don’t know where you were on Saturday…but in Columbus, Ohio it was 60 degrees in January…so most of us were outside.

My dear friend Michelle and I had already planned to go out for our first Winter Hike, sponsored by the Columbus Metro Parks. We majorly lucked out that the weather was so fantastic. If you aren’t familiar with this program, the Metro Parks sponsor guided walks each weekend over the winter. Each week is in a different park around central Ohio. It’s a great way to get out, enjoy the weather, soak in some vitamin D which we DESPERATELY need in the winter and enjoy some time with your friends and family. This week was at Sharon Woods, which is ironically right down the street from where Michelle and I met, our days at Otterbein.

When we first arrived, we were in utter shock. EVERYONE was going to the hike. There were cars as far as you could see in all directions. Even regular participants said they had never seen it this busy. Obviously, spring-like weather in January is a hit! It was great to see so many people out and about.

Seriously…by the bus loads!

Once we arrived, all we had to do was follow the arrows!

Excited for our first hike and some fresh air!

I’ll admit, I was a little bummed that the snow had melted and the park was just sort of boring and wet, but we still got a few glimpses of nature and her beauty.

The great thing about these hikes is that there are volunteer guides everywhere. So if you have questions, or wanted to take a guided hike, you can. You also have the option of what trail you take. Michelle and I chose the 2 mile track, but some of the parks offer up to 7 miles. It really gives you the opportunity to have a great time no matter who you are…and there were definitely some experienced hikers in the mix (not us).

At the end of the walk, there is a fantastic treat! Volunteers serve soup, snacks and hot chocolate. We even had chocolate milk from Snowville Creamery (so yum!)

Chicken chili, cornbread and chocolate milk!

All in all we had a really great morning out…that was until we had 0 clue how to find our car. After wandering aimlessly and finally asking for directions, we discovered that there was, of course, as sign (there were helpful signs everywhere!)

At least we didn’t get lost on the trail, right?

If you’re looking for good way to spend your Saturday morning or Sunday afternoon (they have walks on both), be sure to check this out! We’ll be out next Saturday!

How did you spend your weekend? Any good winter activities you can share?